How many children is optimal

Middle child syndrome is real , and kids who aren't the oldest but not the youngest are said to feel forgotten, ignored, and short-shifted. As a result they can feel resentful and grow rebellious as a way to gain the attention of their parents. But if you have two kids, you don't have to worry about that! Problem solved! In 10 years, between and , the cost of raising children rose by 40 percent.

Now I don't know about you, but just thinking about that figure doubled is making me ill. Tripling that number? Or more? No thank you. American moms have 2. In , 44 percent of moms at the "end of their childbearing years" reported having two kids. Of course, what works for one family, or even the majority of families, doesn't necessarily work for all families. I am convinced two kids is the perfect number for my family, but I know that's not the case for so many other people: sometimes one kid is the way to go, sometimes three or four kids makes a family complete, and sometimes families are kid-free and made up of couples and friends.

Though the root causes can differ, this mismatch between hope and actuality is seen worldwide , and appears to make women measurably less happy. Mothers, of course, stand to lose more than fathers when they have kids in their household. In these regards, too, zero is good. Read: How well-intentioned white families can perpetuate racism. Whether the optimal number of children is greater than zero is a question many researchers have tried to address, and the sum of their work points to a range of variables that seem to matter.

One recent paper suggested that becoming a parent does indeed make people happier, as long as they can afford it. And it tends to be more positive for fathers and people who are married or who became parents later in life. While being the parent of a young child may not seem to maximize happiness, parenthood may be more enjoyable years down the line.

Indeed, Bryan Caplan believes that when people think about having children, they tend to dwell on the early years of parenting—the stress and the sleep deprivation—but undervalue what family life will be like when their children are, say, 25 or Parents may decide that a certain number of children is going to maximize their happiness, but what about the happiness of the children themselves?

Is there an optimal number of siblings to have? Generally speaking, as much as brothers and sisters bicker, relationships between siblings tend to be positive ones.

One study even found a correlation between having siblings and a reduced risk of getting a divorce —the idea being that growing up with siblings might give people social toolkits that they can use later in life. There is, however, at least one less salutary outcome: The more siblings one has, the less education one is likely to get. The practicalities of life become more complicated when you are trying to juggle the demands of three. This can be stressful and exhausting and at times life can feel really chaotic.

Cars are expensive. A third child means a jump up in price from a car that will carry two plus two comfortably to one that carries two plus three, particularly if all three need child seats. So many holiday and restaurant packages are for '2 plus 2'. Hotel 'family rooms' hardly ever accommodate five. The things that people say about having three children become magnified in families who have four or more. These families have many positive things to say about large family size.

Because they will have moved gradually, and mainly through choice, from being a large to a very large family, they generally are people who have already decided that the trade-off between the stresses and the advantages of lots of children is worth making. Families with lots of children talk about the experience being exhausting, chaotic and physically wearing. They talk about the need for their children to understand financial discipline, and to share and to hand things down.

However, they also talk about massive benefits of support between siblings and from children to parents, about the fun and excitement large families generate, about how rewarding this can be and about feeling reassured that their children will always have each other.

Having a baby is an enormous task. Whilst it is a wonderful one, a new baby will take your attention away from each other. It can bond a good relationship, and enhance it with a new, shared task that makes you appreciate each other more.

It can also mean you need to work harder to keep your relationship as good as you want it to be. Education and family size The number of children a family has, as well as views of the ideal number of children, vary by educational attainment. Share this link:. Kristen Bialik is a former research assistant at Pew Research Center. Facts are more important than ever. Women more than men adjust their careers for family life. Americans' ideal family size is smaller than it used to be.

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